Black History Month (BHM) is often about a reflection of the past, but rarely a projection of the future. Movies, documentaries, speeches and writings often reflect where African Americans, Blacks, Negros or whatever term comforts displays a brutal and challenging history.

Do YOU Agree?

    “A woman who truly loves you will be mad at you for so many things but will always stick around” -Trey Songz

I found this quote on Twitter. At first, I thought it was the sweetest thing because it was from Trey Songz but then I sat and thought about it. It’s not cute! It’s not nice at all! It’s basically a smokescreen for saying that women should be a doormat for a man that she loves. I hope that this wasn't an original quote from him, but it wouldn't surprise me if it wasn't. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against Trey Songz; I’m sure no other woman in the world does either – but come on!  Sadly in some cases his quote is a true statement, some women think that they are supposed to stick around and be the “ride or die” for their man- but is that really true? My most recent relationship shared this same pattern.  Every other week it was a different girl he was allegedly dealing with, and most of the time when I talked to him about it- he either told me don’t worry about it or just laughed and told me it was nothing serious.  I somehow convinced myself that it was nothing serious, because we were always together and I was the person he came home to, I couldn't see pass the affection, attention and the charm. At least until it was too late, I called myself telling a family member about my prince charming and she surprisingly told me she knew exactly who he was and she had felt the same way about him! At this point I felt almost physically ill; she actually still kept an old picture of him and her in her cell phone. I knew from that day on, he loved my loyalty to him but he wasn't returning the favor, I woke up before I fell to hard.  The sad part is, I knew how I felt in my mind but after constant confrontation after confrontation he was very convincing. Through some friends of mines, I finally found what my breaking point was- I met his son’s mother! She was an exact carbon copy of me!  It was like someone hit me with a ton of bricks. I had no beef with her and I was aware that he had a son.  I wanted to talk to her so bad but I knew I didn't need to because I could tell our stories were somehow the same.  I could no longer try to convince myself that I had to stick around, and in preparation of me cleansing myself mentally of him- I received a phone call a little after five am saying that he wouldn't be in my life for the next five years.Constant letters and phone calls go unanswered, in my eyes he is nonexistent, and I won’t allow anyone to tear me down in the name of a cheap pawn called “Love”.

As he accepted the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964, Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King said, “I refuse to accept the idea that the ’isness’ of man’s present nature makes him morally incapable of reaching up for the eternal ‘oughtness’ that forever confronts him.”   It is a powerful phrase, particularly when you consider the state of race relations in 1964.

Pictured Left: Tony Allen, Ph.D. ^[1] (Chairman, African American Empowerment Fund)

“Philosophers have long conceded, however, that every man has two educators: 'that which is given to him, and the other that which he gives himself. Of the two kinds the latter is by far the more desirable. Indeed all that is most worthy in man he must work out and conquer for himself. It is that which constitutes our real and best nourishment. What we are merely taught seldom nourishes the mind like that which we teach ourselves.” Carter G. Woodson, The Mis-education of the Negro HBCU’s provide a chance to improve a life and look past mistakes, what sometimes society tries to throw away, an opportunity to grow and change for the better. Stated by Beverly Guy-Sheftall, Ph.D., “People often think of HBCU’s as places that find services for needy students. This is just one argument made to justify HBCU’s existence. HBCU’s do things that majority of college don’t do, that they are more sensitive to certain things.” HBCU’s allow and encourage youth to mature and inspire adults to elevate their cognitive growth.